Afro-America Writer's space: Musings

GYM Etiquette

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 00:07:28 GMT

Cross-posted @ http://afroamericawriter.blogspot.com

One of the reasons of having a blog is getting things off my chest and one thing that is nagging me for a couple of days is manners (or lack thereof) at the gym. So as a public service I'm begging folks especially guys to learn some etiquette in a place that is supposed to be a sanctuary of sorts to work out my issues.

See, I didn't say anything about my body - that's the end result of time spent in the gym but most times I'm running things out in my mind for the day I'm about to have or at the end of the day forthe I've had so far. And some rare occasion, the gym is an escape for the type of day or week I've had. So is too much to ask folks not to give me a neck and eye rolling moment for what I just saw, smelt or felt?

So what prompted this blog posting? My workout at the gym this weekend. Let me list a few of the gym sins (of don'ts) I experienced in less than two hours this past Saturday:

Don't Be A Grisly Adams - Repeat after me guys: I WILL TAME MY HAIR FOLLICLES OR STAY COMPLETELY COVERED. OMG! How in the world in the hot South Florida can a guy wear tank top and some thigh shorts and be a Caveman or the aforementioned Grisly Adams. Please don't be an eyesore.

Here I was working out on the crosstrainer and trying to pass the goal of one hour on this equipment by reading a magazine when Grisly Adams walked by in front of me. Of course my concentration was broken. My eyes followed this guy hairy back all exposed in the flimsy body-builder type tank top and the major hair all exposed from his thighs with his shorts and I started imagining how sweat could get trapped in such in follicles. EEEWWW!

Don't Show Me What You're Packing - Ok Guys, New Rules: Unless you're Lance Armstrong, DON'T WEAR BIKER SHORTS. Seriously! And the thing with these biker shorts wearing guys in the gym, they don't really work out - they parade back and forth in the gym like a peacock. I don't care what you're working with, leave me be and in the process respect me (and the other gym rats) and wear board shorts like most guys.

Don't Undress Me With Your Eyes - Unless you're drop dead gorgeous with major sex appeal, don't gawk at me. Revise that last sentence, if you were drop dead gorgeous guy with major sex appeal, you won't need to gawk - just glance. That's the thing with guys (most of them), they have NO clue about the act of the look. You gotta slap them upside the head to get them into the present when a fine woman walks into a room.

Let me help you guys: There is a fine line between gawking and glancing. And ladies are experts on the act of glancing. When an attractive guy walks in the room, trust me, we (ladies) have noticed him in a few seconds without directing our gaze to his direction. Let's say the guy is on the east of the room, and we are on the west in a circle talking, we can tell you what shoes he's wearing, which can tell us a lot of things about him. Also, we've noticed some unique features like his ass-ets while still going on with the conversation with our present company.

So guys, find a lady to help you with the act of the look because it could be difference in being seen as a pervert or a subject of interest.

Changing Address

Sun, 25 May 2008 20:49:28 GMT

I've been saying for a few weeks the format on "Spaces" was getting on my last nerves. But since I hate being indecisive, I took the necessary action and launched another blog . . . so to all my "spaces friends," here goes the new place you can find me: http://afroamericawriter.blogspot.com/

Thanks,

Very Grateful!

Wed, 14 May 2008 17:57:47 GMT

Sometimes we look at life's little inconveniences and depending how we choose to view the situation, it could really put us in the dumps or make us see the glass half-full. That's where I found myself when my mother's day plans for all the mothers in my life was shot to the pits. It was after three in the afternoon and I was debating the best highway to take to start my travel plans. I finally decided on the Turnpike and spoke to one of my Godmothers to wish her a "happy mother's day." I told her the conversation was going to be short because I was getting close to get on the highway and I would talk to her later.

Thirty minutes later, I just paid the final toll and I was now in the city waiting at an intersection for the light to turn green when my car cut off automatically - went dead. I tried starting the car again and it won't start. This wasn't the time for this (it never is) and here I was on a busy street as South Florida was having record breaking heat. Also, I was confounded because anyone who knows me knows that I take great care of my car. In fact, I just had it serviced about six weeks ago. So I'm thinking, should I call AAA, then I remembered one of my family members (GodDad), lived about thirty blocks away from where I was stuck. I called him to tell him about the situation and where I was. Also, called another family relative (another guy) who I was supposed to be seeing later on. I'm all for equal opportunity when it comes to women but when it comes to my car; call the guys.

As I was waiting with my emergency lights on, a black guy I don't know approached my car. I guess he saw the look of shock on my face and quickly assured me he was only there to help. The stranger told me he'll park his car at the opposite gas station then come back to help me push my car out of the intersection. When he returned, another black guy (another stranger) was behind my car with his car. The first one without the car said he'll push while the other guy in his car will use his car to push my bumper. They both helped me into the safety of the gas station before my GodDad was able to get to the place. I was profoundly grateful.

So it was an inconvenience knowing I wouldn't be able to drive back home that day since it was found out something might have been wrong with my water pump and/or thermostat (never did anything with those since I got the car). I had to crash at a nearby family relative's home (the second person I called) to check out his mechanic first thing in the morning. All my plans for Sunday and Monday were now altered but you know what, the time I couldn't run everywhere made me check out some "spaces" sites and catch up on my personal business on the computer. Also, I had time to reflect about the days' events and appreciate the kindness of strangers and the un-ending support and love of family.

Under the Weather

Thu, 08 May 2008 16:36:06 GMT

I know it's been a while since I posted anything on my blog; I've been busier than usual and a little under the weather. But I've got a lot buzzing in my mind and hope to post some things in a few days . . . peace!

I Was Tagged!

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 03:38:17 GMT

'Spaces" are engaged in a game of Tag and I was tagged by Styln last week and MrJsy571 this week. So here are the rules:

Link the person who tagged you.
Mention the rules in your blog.
Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
Tag 6 following blogger's by linking them.
Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger's blogs letting them know they've been tagged

So here goes six unspectacular quirks of mine:

I have an insane sweet tooth. I think whoever created the "Hot Now" hynoptic sign for Krispy Kreme deserve some kind of award because sometimes I didn't know when I pulled into Krispy Kreme's parking lot. The same goes for the creator of Coldstone Cremery.
My friends and family (F&F) have caught on the meaning of my code words when I don't like something like an outfit or a gift. I'll say it's "different," or "interesting," or "unique." Hey at least those codes still work on strangers or co-workers.
Another thing the my F&F have caught on to is my facial expressions. They say no matter how I try, my face betrays me. One of my lady friends told me recently that it's written all over my face when I was incredibly bored with a guy who approached me at an outing.
Don't expect me to make life-altering decisions before 10 or 11a.m; I'm not a morning person.
Some folks call me a "fashionista" but I prefer the term "stylish" and as a stylish person, my wish is to ban VPLs (Visible Panty Lines) - they drive me NUTS.
I'm a very giving person but NEVER expect me to lend you my books or CDs. It's a long story . . .

Housekeeping Matters

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 03:18:29 GMT

I did something today that I've never done since I opened up this "space," I deleted an item posted by a commenter. I'm pretty liberal for folks to leave their comments even when I can see they took something completely out of context or fail to see a tongue-in-cheek comment. The way I see it, it fosters communication even if it's not coming from me. However, I draw a line for decency. I believe such trait, though somehow lost in some parts of our society should still be embraced - at least I try to. I would like folks to respect this "space" as a haven to know the world around us, communicate with the said people in the world and perhaps try to be better individuals. In the meantime, please respect the space code of conduct.

Thank you!

A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words

Thu, 10 Apr 2008 18:00:59 GMT

To post my picture or not to post my picture? That is the question! Some of my friends and family (F&F) have been wondering why I failed to post my picture on this site. Here is a snapshot of the conversation: Why didn't you put your picture on your blog? Me: It's about my writing not my looks. F&F: You know there's more to it than that . . . besides, you've wrote in other places where your face and/or name was attached to the article. Me: Well, yeah. That was because it was mandatory to do so.

See I have this love/hate relationship with the Internet. Yes this medium is a necessity for my generation and most people but I have this uncommon need for privacy as much as my work is made public. Yes my F&F do have a point because my picture have been posted online along with my name as a connection to the readers but I still fight that notion especially when most people of my demographic have a "MySpace," "FaceBook" pages. A couple of years ago when a family member asked if I had a "MySpace" page, my response was I have a life - a very busy one at that. But I see the allure and the advantages. It took a lot from me to create my own blog yet maintain my sense of privacy. I'm still in the upswing of my career and your virtual life (which mine has nothing to worry about) as well as your career life is very much a part of how you represent a current or potential company. I saw some of my cousins' friends "MySpace" pages a few months ago and I wondered if they want to have a real job/career once they left college seeing some pictures left little to the imagination.

Of course I admire a number of people who choose to post and update their pictures online; it is who they are. But some folks who see me live still get confounded since I look nothing like my picture posted online. One of my siblings friends told me once, "you look different from the pictures I've seen." Sometimes I want to ask how different? And was that meant as a compliment? Yes I change my looks occassionally and even I could see the difference in just changing a haircut; sometimes I look like a completely different woman. Yeah that's my gender since on this site, I've had to correct some readers I'm a woman a few times - my picture would have clarified such assumption. So I know the advantages of posting a picture; which doesn't mean I still don't have some apprehension.

Mean Girls - Par Dieux

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 20:28:50 GMT

What is it about fame that would make some folks want to do the dumbest and degrading things to achieve the said fifteen minutes of fame? That was the question that went through my mind as I watched in horror six teenage girls beating another girl on TV. It is more shocking that these said girls attacked the defenseless girl while two boys serve as lookouts only to be famous by posting the attack on the web. As I listened to the sheriff of Polk County, Florida, I couldn't believe the six teenage girls had absolutely no remorse but just asking when they could go for their next cheerleading practice - SERIOUSLY?

Forget about the bruises on the victim's body, forget that this girl's sense of sight and hearing were impaired due to the attack, or forget about the emotional trauma that might last years as long as they got their shot at fame. This is very disturbing in an age of YouTube, TMZ, etc. where girls would rather be famous for fame sake; in other words, contribute absolutely nothing to society. It is more cool to be a pretty girl with no brains or humanity as long as you could pose for the camera. This story broke at the same time the U.S is having alarming amounts of high school dropout rates across the country but in the span of 48 hours I've seen the horrific video across my TV screen at least five times; and the high school dropout rate, zilch - just a snippet late last week. Can you say dumbing down of this country?

Plastic Surgeries Nightmares

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 14:43:06 GMT

I was working out last night when I saw the back of a man’s T-Shirt in front of me on a treadmill; the inscription on the shirt read “growing old disgracefully.” The saying gave me a pause on my elliptical trainer and I wondered what he really meant: Was he sending a message on our culture’s youth-obsessed notion? Or was he taking a spin on the original phrase “growing old gracefully?” Did it mean he chose not to let his body take the natural course but challenge it to the road less traveled since he appeared old enough to be my Dad? There were different questions buzzing in my brain as I remembered the death of a teenager from complications to plastic surgery that set my community ablaze over the weekend.

Stephanie Kuleba, the 18 year old, full of promise for the future dead from trying to fit in the so-called ideal mode of beauty. I said full of promise seeing she was the captain of her cheerleading team, had scholarship offers from three universities and according to local news reports, had hopes to be a Doctor. So the medical report stated that she needed to repair “congenital defects” on her breasts but there were enhancement that needed to be done also with implants.

This is not the first, second, or third deaths we have seen concerning plastic surgeries. I got over 3 million hits on Google for “plastic surgery gone wrong.” Then when I looked up “plastic surgeries death,” the article on USA Today on the risk to the beauty of surgery caught my attention. It featured the late First Wives Club author Olivia Goldsmith passing due to complications to plastic surgery at 54. More recently, Kanye West’s mother, Donda West passed a few months ago from complications at 58.

What’s going on? Now I read the risk of death maybe 1 in 250,000 but it is still a very valid risk not to mention all kinds of complications not readily apparent to the glamour of fitting a stereotype. Tom Joyner had a guest a couple of weeks ago on his syndicated morning radio show. The guest was a lady who had some silicone butt injection on and having such a first witness account was an eye-opening experience. The lady who used to be an exotic dancer talked about getting the butt injections at first to be more attractive to the opposite sex and at first, it helped her “profession.” But, after a period of time she started noticing lumps, unusual discoloration among others that has caused her great shame even in intimate moments with a potential or current lover. I thought to myself that morning isn’t it a shame that the opposite sex she had the silicones for is the very one she’s trying to hide from?

Transitioning

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 22:20:20 GMT

Hey Guys:

One of those times again where life throws you a curve ball - but this time, I believe is for something better. I'm taking some time off to readjust to another level and hope to chat with you later.

Peace!

Things I Don't Get - Part 2

Mon, 10 Mar 2008 22:36:37 GMT

Last time I gave you a look into my psyche of things I don't get about the world around me. Well, not too long after posting that synopsis, a few things popped in my mind of what I left off but our busy political season has also kept them at bay. So here we go:

I don't get guys who emotionally, verbally, and physically abuse women. - At the end of last year, one of my local papers featured women (young and old, of varied racial backgrounds) who have been abused then later killed at the hands of their boyfriends or husbands. According to the www.endabuse.org website, nearly three million women are going to be physically abused in the States at the hands of their boyfriends or husbands. Next month, many women (and men) will commemorate the annual V-day, to end violence against women. Though there's been some progress; there's still a long way to go.
I don't get women who stay with abusive men. - This attitude has really been extremely confounding to someone like me. Ladies, don't say you stayed because of your kids; actually you're teaching your kids a messed-up message to not respect themselves and continue the vicious cycle in their future relationships. Please don't stay for money. You may have to sacrifice a former lifestyle; but your life is worth much more.
I don't get "Breaking News" anymore. Remember a time when "breaking news" used to stop you in your tracks? It meant something earth-shattering was happening, out of the norm, etc. Now "breaking news" could just mean Britney lost or "forgot" her underpants.
I don't get the "stand by your man" public cheating persona concept. So today's "breaking news" was New York Governor Eliot Spitzer being involved in a prostitution link and he later apologized via a press conference to "violating his obligations to his family." But like I said previously, that is not "breaking news." Another politician cheated on his wife (Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick anyone), used the escort service (Louisiana Senator Vitter) while standing for "moral values." That's not the point I'm trying draw upon but the condescending nature of the women who stand beside them for the world to see. WHY? I told a friend over a month ago after Kwame's apology, I'm going to scream if I see that (the woman standing by them) one more time. I got another opportunity today to do just that but I was in my office. Gosh! In the past few years, I've seen a New Jersey Governor come out of the closet with his wife beside him, one in Sen. Larry Craig who still insists he doesn't need to come out of one with his defiant wife and the list goes on. These men did the cheating by themselves, let them take the responsibility of the said cheating all BY THEMSELVES.
I don't get guys who rely only on text messaging as a means of communicating with their potential or current significant other. Now, this really bugs me. I get we're in the techie world and we should show flow with the sign of the times. But text messaging should be used as an accessory to live communication and NOT the sole communication. You "guys" out there in "spaces" should please help me with this. It is sweet while you're stuck in a boring meeting to send a quick text to your honey that you're thinking about her. But you shouldn't use the same text device when you know you've screwed up big time as a means of communicating. It is tacky! It's like Carrie's so-called boyfriend, Burger on Sex and the City breaking up with her on a post it note. Something like that happened to someone I know; only this time the guy wasn't breaking up with her over a text but just three weeks into a relationship, she didn't hear from the guy all through the weekend but the guy text her Tuesday evening before she left work about what they could do. Now, this person was in her 20s, so texting is not a far out concept. Even a guy friend told her point blank the so-called guy had another girl on the side. I used a more colorful word for the jerk. Hey Guys' listen up! Yes we're modern girls with our own careers, sidekicks, blackberries, etc. but the old-fashioned chivalry isn't dead. Try it sometime, you might steal a girl's heart in the process.

Things I Don't Get . . .

Thu, 28 Feb 2008 17:16:14 GMT

Last night, I thought of a few things that are pet peeves of mine. Most of my friends and family pretty much know them from spirited conversations. So I thought why not share them with friends and viewers online; here’s a synopsis into my musings of “things I don’t get:”

I don’t get people who hate a certain group of people based on race, ethnicity, gender, religion or orientation.
I don’t get people who don’t vote. I don’t care for the lame explanation of a corrupt, weakened state of affairs in Washington or in your neighborhood. You have the power regardless of past disappointments to initiate change. People who choose not to exercise such power lose an amount of respect in my eyes. I’m reminded of a sports journalist, whom I love his work. He recently wrote a column about the Roger Clemens Capitol Hill fiasco and had the nerve to state: “that’s why I don’t vote.” I was gravely disappointed to the point that the rest of his column couldn’t hold my interest.
I don’t get guys who don’t read. I mean read something other than your sports illustrated, fantasy records, Playboy or King Magazines. Even if you read two substantive books a year from a mature age of 25 till the day you leave this earth; you could end up being a very enlightened individual. And in this technology advanced age, you have no excuse; you could get books on CD or downloaded to your IPhone. So while driving, take a break from the latest rap record and read a damn book.
I don’t get girls who don’t read. There’s got to be something thriving beneath your glorious head of hair. So spend a little money and time to nourish that remarkable muscle called the brain; it really could take you places far beyond your imagination.
I don’t get guys who have absolutely no condom sense. You know those guys who keep making babies with multiple baby mamas and have limited to no resources to take care of the said babies. I would like to give those guys an advice from the salient words of Michael Jackson: “if you can’t feed your baby then don’t have a baby!”

Well those are just a few . . . maybe next time I could highlight some things I do get.